Plus recently my internet connection is cancelled! Yes didn't pay bills! Haha...
Thinking of cancelling it as well cause the connection sucks to max! I rather use my iphone internet tethering to surf net when i am using my lappy..
Maybe after my confinement will go and get broadband instead. No time and no money!
Okay, today i'm doing something rare! Right now am blogging while listening to Show songs.. I'm not into songs but this room is being so quiet! Am editing my blog layout too.. A new start of a mummy blog!
Hubby hasn't been around for the past few days .. Is killing me! Bored to death! He came back home when i'm in my deep sleep... When i wake up he is no longer around.. When he is back in the afternoon, he is off to sleep! Totally boredom!
Tomorrow will be my last night and i think he is not gonna be home to accompany me too.
Tomorrow night will be the day i fear most! I'm going to leave Isaiah at home sercretly to the hospital in the early morning :( I'm going to face this alone ... Although is not the first time i'm facing things alone but i really wish this time round someone will be around.. Guess i got to pull through this! Really let go of Isaiah and concentrate on a smooth delivery first!
Maybe this will be my last post as a pregnant mama.. Not sure if i have the time to do a quick post for the next few days..
Just one more day for me... Right now what am i feeling and what am i thinking is totally different!
My body seems to be giving way too. Backaches is kicking in .. Maybe due to those crazy braxton hicks that i'm having every 30 mins! The pressure in my pelvis is getting stronger and stronger. I really feel that my pelvis is splitting anytime! So i wish i can deliver really soon ..
But my mind is thinking otherwise ... I wish i have another week or maybe a few more weeks .. Or maybe i wish to go back to 2nd trimester! I'm not ready yet!! Now thinking that 2 days later i will have to cradle a new baby in my arms is giving me fear .. Not because i didn't want to see ezekiel.. But i feel my mind and heart is not totally prepared yet .. Maybe too much things to going on recently.. And i really wish i have abit more time for Isaiah.. Recently he is behaving and i totally enjoy the moments with him..
Just now before i put him to sleep, we had a short conversation and after that he went to bed without me saying anything else .. When he does something that is not acceptable and i told him he is making me upset and angry if he continues.. He turn into an angrl right after that.. Coming to me and lay his head on my chest as if he surrender.. it was rare.. seriously he used to argue with me .. But this 2 days he turn into another person ..
I can't help having a feeling that i didn't want to share any attention for him with another baby.. I felt guilty towards him .. But i'm not going to put this guilty feeling to ezekiel too.
I just wish i can give 100% of my love and attention to both of them!
1st June
Isaiah went to school by school bus.. The very first time and i really feel so bad after that ..
The bus that came to pick him up is totally different from the usual sch bus that he took everyday home. The bus uncle is also different!! There is no auntie in the sch bus and he have to sit on the booster seat with seat belt on..
Although his strong boy cried for 30secs as he was unfamiliar and unprepared as this arrangement was very sudden and i only mention to him twice that he is going to take school bus to school. But never we expect everything is so different.
I ensured that everything is alright while putting him on the booster seat. Gave him his pacifier to soothe him abit and he stop crying with a teary eyes..
Waved goodbye to him but he didn't response but he didn't cry after that .. Am very proud of him! But i'm feel really guilty and bad as normally i will carry him to take a cab.. Give him hugs and kisses all the way to school.. So at least 10 mins of time spent with him before we reached school..
But out of sudden he is attending 4 hours PG and now going to school himself.. We don't have much time to spent at home as i try to let him sleep till 8am before waking him up..
Luckily this 2 days he is very good.. I can feel that he is happier after attending to 4 hours PG. He don't whine so much after coming back and he will go to bed happily knowing that there is school tomorrow.
I hope everything will be the same after Ezekiel join us on thurs.. And also hope Isaiah will not feel neglected cause of this little brother!
Now i wish that time will fly super fast so i can come back asap after delivery to be with Isaiah again..
This morning, settled the paperwork for singapore cord blood bank donation.
Have a great chat with the person in charge ... Am glad that i'm able to do my part and this is 90% confirmed last pregnancy! haha ... At least this might be able to save someone in the future..
Is quite a simple process.. They response very quickly and the person in charge is nice enough to come down TPY to meet me early in the morning..
After finishing the paper work, i ate 2 sets of Mac breakfast .. Will be my last time taking mac breakfast till my confinement ends! i think even after that i won't be able to touch it unless i lug a NB to central in the morning which is the last thing i wanna do ...
Stayed at home the whole day to tidy up the house ..
Today poor Jaden is hospitalize in KKH due to fever and infection. I wish i can drop by today but i'm left with 2% of energy and i got tons of chores to do before i leave for delivery ..
I hope tomorrow i'm able to take out some time to visit him but i think is impossible as CL is coming in tomorrow and i yet get a fan for her in the room! And i need to wash the toilet one more time tomorrow and need to change the bedsheets again! i know this is crazy but i'm experiencing nesting instincts! Btu also cause i want things be to settled before i leave..
I wanted to go NTUC to stocks up some cookies, bread etc for Isaiah to eat when i'm not around ..
So many things to buy but yet no time! Tomorrow morning still got to go to the market to do marketing for CL meals when i'm not around .. If not i don't know what she is going to eat the next few days .. And she is going to prepare Isaiah meals too when i'm not around..
Busy busy busy!!
Wish that Jaden will recover really fast so he can go back home soon .. Quite sad to see a 3 month old baby in hospital and i was still playing with him on monday evening!
I think the next time i see him will be at least 2 weeks after my delivery when i go back to Dr woo for reviews and will bring Isaiah back to play cause i know he will miss my mom place!
I'm almost ready for delivery .. Hospital bag is 90% packed .. Am abit disappointed that i downgraded my room to 2 bedded instead.. i really wish hubby will be able to be with me in hospital at night .. But he still got to work while i'm away and i feel is better to have him around at home with Isaiah rather than the CL and Isaiah only.. So got to bear with it and quickly come back home!
Ok will stop my nagging here .. Got to edit the blog a little and hope readers that is following my blog will like it!
Isaiah brought home his art piece that was exhibit in Art Fest today!
I paid for it and we are going to hang this artistic painting at home!
Haha!! Am sooo proud of my boy :p
